Well – it’s been about five days since I moved in with my new stranger, but I couldn’t be happier. I haven’t heard much about his baby on the way – but boy, do I have many reminders of the situation.
Most of his ex-girlfriend’s things are still at his place. It looks like she just left a nice nest for herself for when the baby comes. Just to name a few:
- 3 small bureaus in the bedroom
- A 55″ TV
- Clothes hanging in the bedroom closet
- A kitchen cabinet
- 3 Rubbermaid totes filled with clothes and random stuff
- Sheets and blankets
- Dishes/cups/wine glasses
- Little small baskets in the bathroom with toiletries and things
She moved everything she owned in one SUV car load in one day… but she’s been there about 4 times to move stuff out. I think in total she took one mirror, and two of those foldable fabric storage containers. The last trip I think she walked out with a pillow.
I’m constantly playing devils advocate with the situation – but at the end of the day, regardless of my existence or not, he has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be with her. I know the situation sucks for her and I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes – but she made the choices that put her there.
She tells him that he is just an asshole and she can’t believe he is making her do this on her own. He has explained countless times that he will be there for the child if it is fact his, and has even offered to go to appointments.
Why is it that when someone doesn’t want to be with us, they are automatically an asshole?
This is a worldwide problem that needs to be resolved. Just because you didn’t cheat, steal, or lie to someone you are with, doesn’t mean that person needs to stay with you. When I got dumped by someone I did EVERYTHING for, I felt the same way. To me, he was the biggest asshole I have ever wasted my time on. Thinking back I realized that he didn’t owe me anything and honestly – I understand why he dumped me. Could I BE any more of a door mat? So unattractive. I would have dumped me too.
My point is – you can be a great person, with a lot of amazing qualities… but the person that you want to be with doesn’t need to feel that way about you. You just might not be for them, and you need to learn to move on.
If I didn’t make bad choices (like trusting ignorant men, getting in credit card debt, and gambling away the savings that I had)… I could be living in a pretty decent apartment on my own with my cat by my side.
I may not be 21, single, and pregnant living in my parent’s trailer, but – you’ve made your bed… now you have to lye in it. We all need to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions that lead us to our current circumstances.
No one is responsible for your life other than yourself. It’s a hard truth to accept – but a good way to look at your life, and decide to grow the fuck up.