My new boyfriend’s girlfriend is out of town.

I know karma will be waiting in an alley one day to jump out and give me a steel toed kick in the teeth. Or at least a good hair pulling from the poor girl whose life I’m secretly destroying. I deserve it.

I don’t need the hate. I don’t think anyone should be proud to be a side chick, and believe me, I’m not, and I never thought I would be this person.

So why am I doing it then?

I don’t think there is any other answer other than… I can be a real selfish asshole sometimes.

They have only been seeing each other for a month and a half, and they don’t have much of a sexual relationship. He was sick of dating and settled. Sounds familiar.

We both settled at the same time.

He tells me all the cookie-cutter things that guys that cheat in their girlfriends say to their side chick.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m not this guy.”

“I’m going to break up with her – I just need some time.”

I do like him a lot. To be perfectly honest, he is everything I ever want in another human being (or maybe I have another sixteen year old crush with rose-colored glasses on).

I’m obviously going to proceed with extreme caution. He already said he wanted to get an apartment together – which is crazy but, maybe after you hit 30, you need to accept that “all in” attitude.

Like I said – I would do it again in heartbeat.

He also asked if we could get matching tattoos this morning. Maybe we should hold off on tattoos until he’s not linked on Facebook to a female that isn’t me.

Immorality aside…

Is it possible that we are perfect for each other… and we just missed our open availability time frame by such a short fraction?

Are we lucky to find each other this early on to make a choice to change course of direction before heading down the wrong road to the point of no (or at least more difficult) return?

Author: livingwithastranger

I got an apartment with the person I was dating for less than a month because the cost of living was too high. I tolerated him for 17 days before moving out. A month later I got a new boyfriend and moved in with him - and hopefully...we live happily ever after.

3 thoughts on “My new boyfriend’s girlfriend is out of town.”

  1. I feel like we have had so many of the same experiences. Tread lightly. This is such shaky ground. But if you feel like there is a good chance he is the one–or even a “one”–then you owe it to yourself to find out. Put him on a timeline with the other girl…and if he doesn’t go for it, the stars aren’t lined up in the right order….And most importantly, remember that no one can judge you harder about your actions than you already are. You are brave for putting this out here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A timeline is definitely the best thing I can do – I’m just very weak. I’ve already tried to say tell him that I don’t think we should see each other until he figures out what he’s doing. Next thing you know he is over and half naked.

      It’s not just sex either – It’s dinner, it’s going to the mall together hand in hand, its cuddling watching movies, wrestling, flirting… He legit has two girlfriends. He seems very dead set on just being with me – he just doesn’t have any other reason to break up with her, other than there is someone else, and he doesn’t want to be an asshole. I told him to man up and tell her the truth – because making up some bullshit reason to end the relationship will make it a lot harder for her get over the break-up. Just knowing that there was someone else will hurt, but at least its not a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t make sense.

      I don’t want to continue to be the other girl, while she is wondering why he is so distant. Plus – It’s not healthy to develop feelings for someone, and become jealous that someone else gets to lay down with him at night.


      1. It sounds like you have the same mentality about it I did. I became the other girl for my best friend. He was dating a girl a little younger than we were at the time. And I guess things were just not great with her. Because we were best friends, we hung out all of the time. And it wasn’t sexual at all. Until it was. And then it was too much to handle, because I already loved him. They eventually split, but she did it, not him. He and I are still close-ish. We still spend some nights together, but it is nothing like it was, mostly because I feel like he didn’t leave because he didn’t want to, not because he couldn’t.
        It is only fair, though, to give yourself a chance to see where it could go.


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