I should mention I was also on Prozac.

I started this because I was well aware I was losing my mind, and I wanted to truly document the train wreck. It is clear how unsure I was about everything.  He was never my forever. He was my “alright I guess this works”.

I should mention I was also on Prozac.

It was for a short period of time. It was my first and only time on anti-depressants (prescribed for my anxiety). I was about two months in, so it was starting to take full effect.

Prozac may have started to work, and I did manage to keep my emotions stable and lesson the amount of anxiety attacks I had in the grocery store – but I never wanted to be on it, and I never wanted to be “fixed”. My anxiety was a part of me, and it made me who I was.

I liked who I was, and people liked me – quirks, anxiety, craziness and all.

My feelings started to change as I slowly tapered off of the drug. I think as I came off of it, I took my rose-colored glasses off to see the world, and him, for what it was.

I think it is fair to say I was somewhat under the influence.

While I wait for my forever, I want to look back at my personal love history and figure out what led me here. I know that is the foundation for terrible lifetime movies (that I love) – but those movies exist because the concept masks sense.

Are all my failed relationships all my fault?

Did I pick all the wrong men?

Is there anyone else I can blame this on to make myself feel better?

Author: livingwithastranger

I got an apartment with the person I was dating for less than a month because the cost of living was too high. I tolerated him for 17 days before moving out. A month later I got a new boyfriend and moved in with him - and hopefully...we live happily ever after.

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