I never thought I would end up with a homeless status… and if I did, it would have been because of an out of control drug problem. Luckily my family has my back, again, until I get back on my feet.
I never would have thought I would be at this point because of the result of bad relationship choices.
Now that settling didn’t work.. I needed to get smart about what’s next. I can’t be super picky because, let’s be honest, there isn’t a lot out there. I decided that from here on out, I would have my personal deal-breakers that would prevent me going on the first hang out session.
Deal-breaker #1: Single Dads
It’s not that they aren’t great guys because I know they are some of the BEST guys. I have three friends that personally recommend it – BUT I gotta be honest I’m not great with kids. I don’t know how to talk to them. If a four-year old walks up to me at some sort of social gathering, I get so nervous I start sweating and get a shortness of breath, and usually stretch Armstrong my date to come rescue me from whatever the toddler is going to say.
Deal-breaker #2: They Smoke Weed
Ok Ok I know this is a very unpopular opinion.. and believe me I would love for everyone pro-weed to tell me about all the benefits it entails… from curing cancer, poverty, climate change, giving you CPR after it rescues you from drowning in the ocean.. but please keep your shirt on. I know it’s a magical drug. Believe me when I tell you that I am aware of the benefits and I’m not against it being utilized for medical uses.
I just don’t want to be around it, and I don’t want my boyfriend smoking. I find it incredibly unattractive and it’s hard for me to accept. Maybe subconsciously, my brain rules them out as being fit to impregnate me – I really don’t know. I feel so irrationally strong about this, the only way I could get past it is if I was hypnotized.
Well that’s it for deal-breakers..
Now that this narrows my selection to about 25 men in America, I can just start working on myself until the man of my dreams comes along, or until I get desperate enough to make an appointment with a hypnotist.